


Keep Going

by CelticTiger21



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Happy Ending(ish), It’s probably really sad, Sadness, Talk about character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:01:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28104387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelticTiger21/pseuds/CelticTiger21
Summary: Nicole Haught is in a dark place in her head, and has been for weeks, after a tragic murder.  She is struggling with inner demons, and Waverly refuses to let her push her away.
Relationships: Waverly Earp & Nicole Haught, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught
Kudos: 50





	Keep Going

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes our inner demons are so loud and disrupting to who we are, we get lost in them. In that, we tend to push people we live away, but if we are lucky, some people don’t leave, and we find ourselves Keep Going, for them, for ourselves. Whatever the reason we Keep Going, and in small moments we find who we are again.

Keep Going 

“She always sits out there in the rain and the darkness,” Waverly grips the phone tighter in her hand, “never wants to come inside with me anymore Wynonna.”

“Babygirl, it’s not you,” Wynonna tries to reassure her baby sister, “she just....she just needs time to figure it out. Get back to being herself.”

“I get that Wyn, but I want to be here for her,” Waverly protests, “I want to help her. I am here to help her.”

“Then you are going to have to wait until she’s ready,” Wynonna sighs. 

Waverly grips harder on the curtain, watching as the darkness swallows Nicole. The sun started setting when she pulled into the driveway, and what started as trickling of rain is now pouring over the tall redhead. Waverly can see her shoulders slumped over, her hands twitching under the down pour, and her red hair matting to her face as Nicole lets the rain wash over her. 

“I’ll wait forever for her,” Waverly breaths. 

“She’ll come around,” Wynonna assures her. 

Waverly finally sees Nicole move, her feet slowly trudging through soaked ground, and Waverly slides her phone down her cheek, a muffled “yah,” as she hangs up, rising to her feet to meet Nicole at the door. 

As the door creaks open Nicole’s boots soak prints into the walkway, water dripping from her clothing and every inch of uncovered skin. Waverly immediately moves to Nicole, her hand sliding against her cheek. Nothing. Nicole continues to stare down at the floor, unmoving. Waverly gently slides her down Nicole’s cheek to her neck, her fingertips tracing over the line of Nicole’s jaw. Waverly waits for a movement, a flinch, tilt towards her touch, anything that is recognition of her presence. Nothing. Another night, another drowning I. Her sorrows. Solitude for Nicole. Anguish for Waverly. Both of them right next to each other but utterly alone. Nicole’s choice, but it doesn’t tear at Waverly’s heart any less. Waverly stays quiet though, waits for Nicole to come to her. Her hand runs down Nicole’s arm, her fingers intertwining with Nicole’s and she squeezes to let the redhead know she is there. Waverly leans in and places a chaste kiss against her cheek, and if she wasn’t paying attention she would have missed it. The quick blink, the breath pulling quickly in through her lips from the kiss. 

“Come on baby,” Waverly whispers, “let’s get you warm,” she squeezes her fingers and starts to pull her girlfriend with her. 

“I’m sorry,” Nicole’s words are shaken and broken. 

Waverly turns quickly, eyebrows raised to her hairline. It feels like these are the first words she has heard from her girlfriend in days, maybe longer. Heartache doesn’t keep count. The dripping coming from her girlfriends soaked body is deafening as she tears through her memories, reaching for anything that would warrant the love of her life to apologize. 

“Baby, why are....”

“I failed you,” Nicole’s voice continues to shake, it’s barely loud enough for Waverly to hear, and you can hear the brokenness blanketed over every word, “I wasn’t strong enough.”

Waverly gripped her fingers tighter and moved her through the house. Waverly’s other hand curled around Nicole’s arm so she could keep her right next to her as she got Nicole to their bedroom. Waverly stopped and turned to face Nicole once they got in their room. She slowly started unbuttoning Nicole’s shirt, the fabric tight around the buttoned plastic causing it to squeak as she pulled it through the hole. Waverly slowly moved down to the next button, every movement purposeful as she ran Nicole’s words through her mind. 

“Nicole, you did not fail me,” Waverly’s voice was strong and steady, but quiet. She saw a tear break from Nicole’s eyes, and a slight shake to her head as she closed her eyes. “I want you to hear me,” Waverly said as her hands moved up Nicole’s shoulders under her shirt, pushing against the fabric, she can see goosebumps pull up over Nicole’s skin as the soaked fabric is removed. “You didn’t fail anybody, especially me. That could never happen,” Waverly’s thumb ran across Nicole’s cheek removing the fallen tear. “You are only human.”

“That’s the problem,” Nicole breathes out, a hint of anger weighing over the words. 

“Nicole....”

“No Waverly,” Nicole’s muscles tense and she tries to pull from Waverly’s touch, but quickly Waverly grips her hand and keeps her there, “I am strong enough to protect you. How can I protect you? I’m just me.”

“And I love every bit of you....”

“But love is not gonna save you one day just like it didn’t.....” Nicole closes her eyes, and shakes her head trying to hold back the tears, “....like it didn’t save him.” Her voice becomes almost non existent with those last words. 

Waverly knew Nicole felt it was her fault Nedley died. She was the Sheriff. She was suppose to protect him. Most importantly though she was the target, those monsters were after the Sheriff. It was suppose to be her, not Nedley. When her, Wynonna and Doc found Nedley in the precinct it was Wynonna and Doc that killed the monsters. Nicole stood frozen, staring into Nedley’s vacant eyes. She blamed herself, everybody knew that, and then she shut down. She pushed everybody away, only going back and forth from work to home like a robot. She would sometimes take hours to walk into the house when she got home, she would sit out front in the cruiser staring off into space. At first, Waverly would go outside and try to coax her girlfriend to come into the house, but eventually Waverly would just watch from the window. Most nights, however, it didn’t matter when Nicole would come inside because she would just walk in, go shower and then crawl into bed facing away from Waverly. It felt like the harder Waverly tried to be there for Nicole, the more Nicole would push her away, but tonight even through Nicole’s tears and trembling body, Waverly removed her soaked clothes, and pulled Nicole into a warm bath. Nicole sat back in the tub in silence staring at Waverly’s face, as Waverly tried to care for her, wiping away at any fallen tears that broke free. 

“You’re an angel,” Nicole stated flatly as she stared, her body never moving. 

Waverly’s lips shifted into a small smile as she turned to look at her, she wished she could take away all of her sadness. 

“I’m not good enough for you,” Nicole closed her eyes. 

Waverly stopped and placed her finger under Nicole’s chin so she could look at her, “you Nicole Haught are my everything,” Waverly’s eyes softened as she looked at Nicole, “my home.”

“I’m just me, Waves, I’m not good enough...”

“Hey,” Waverly’s voice grew a bit louder as she tugged on Nicole’s chin to pull her back to face her, “you are good enough. You are the love of my life Nicole Haught, and if I had to trade my angel to be with you I would in a heartbeat, because.......” Waverly shook her head, not because she didn’t know what to say, but she needed to make sure Nicole really heard her, “you are, God, Nicole, you are my entire world.”

“I can’t protect you,” Nicole breaths, “I’m not strong en....”

“Then we will protect each other,” Waverly smiles, gripping her hands. “We are in this together, for better, for worse.”

Nicole turns and looks at her, her breathing catches in her throat. Waverly’s hand strokes against her cheek. “I’m in this for as long as you will have me,” and she leans in and kisses her gently to the corner of her mouth. When Waverly starts to pull away Nicole grips onto her arm and gently starts pulling her towards her. 

“Baby?” Waverly questions as she is leaning over the tub as she continues to be silently pulled towards her girlfriend. Nicole’s hand reaches up and moves across Waverly’s jaw, her other hand gripping Waverly’s arm. Waverly got pulled into the tub on top of Nicole’s body, water splashing out onto the floor. Waverly giggled as she tried to position herself comfortably between her girlfriends legs, but still being able to look at her. 

“Forever?” Nicole’s voice is so low you would almost have missed it amongst all of the noise from the water sloshing around. Waverly though didn’t miss a thing Nicole was saying, she stared into her eyes, “Where you go, I go,” Waverly smiled, “for the rest of my life.” 

“Even if I am not worthy?” Nicole’s eyes flickered over Waverly’s face as she asked. 

“I’ll take you,” Waverly inhaled deeply, a tear falling over her cheek, “good, bad, perfect, flawed and everything in between because they are every bit of you.”

Nicole wrapped her arms around Waverly, and she shifted her weight to be a bit more comfortable in the tub with Nicole, as she leaned back deeper into Nicole’s arms. Waverly intertwined her fingers with Nicole’s and brought her hand up to her lips for a kiss, and then snuggled back into Nicole. 

They stayed like that until the water froze. Waverly dumped off her clothes into the tub after the water drained, and both women dressed into baggy sweatpants and oversized hoodies. When they crawl into bed this time Waverly snuggles up right next to Nicole, her head on her chest listening to her heartbeat. Nicole’s runs her finger through brunette locks, coming through the strands. Nicole is staring out the window, watching the moonlight break through into their room. The voices that break her down are there all of the time, but it is at night where they become deafening. The visions of Nedley assaulting her, drowning her when she attempts to take shelter in her sleep. 

“One day you will realize I’m a failure,” Nicole huffs. 

Waverly scrunches her eyes together, raises herself from Nicole’s chest and turns to look at her. Nicole heard her shifting, but continues to look away, her hand falling to the curve of Waverly’s back. Nicole is frozen. It was a mantra that has been screaming in her head since she failed Nedley. Failed the Earps. Failed this town. She’s paralyzed by the weight of the words that fell from her lips. 

“Nicole, we all fail...”

Nicole scoffs. She knew it was to good to be true, to be able to keep Waverly. Once Waverly realized what she was she would be gone. This is that realization. Nicole closes her eyes waiting for the end. 

“BUT, we get back up. We keep pushing forward,” Waverly puts her hand against Nicole’s cheek to turn her to face her, “and you get to do that with me by your side.” Waverly leans in and kisses her gently, her lips pressing against Nicole’s. “I’m not leaving you Nicole Haught, unless you tell me to.”

Nicole turns her head, she wants to tell Waverly that she would never tell her to leave. She wants to hold her tighter, and kiss her all over telling her she will love her forever, keeping Waverly in her heart way beyond her last dying breath. However, all she does is press her fingers harder into Waverly’s side, pulling her petite form further into her side. Waverly leans in again and kisses Nicole gently on the lips. 

“I love you Nicole Rayleigh Haught, and those are the truest words I’ll ever say,” Waverly searches Nicole’s eyes as she speaks, her voice true and steady. 

This time it was Nicole who moved, capturing Waverly’s lips with her own. The kiss was filled with desperation, and need, but was consumed by love. Nicole was desperate in that moment to feel Waverly’s words, needed to be more than just a kiss. 

Nicole needed to keep going, keep pushing. Not just for her, but for Waverly.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope everybody keeps going, keeps pushing. It’s so easy to become lost in this world, lost inside your own demons as well, but if you keep going, you will find yourself, even if it is in the tiniest of moments. 
> 
> Thanks for reading. As always, feel free to leave kudos or comments.


End file.
